To love You..

To love You...
It's the only thing left..
It's the only form of worship I can muster...
It's the only medicine for my pain...

Father...
To love you is life for me...

It's been tough!!
I have felt unloved so many times..
But in the end I could not stop loving You...

Because loving You heals me.
Loving You heals my spirit.
Loving You pacifies my soul.
Loving You nourishes my body.
Loving You is the only thing that keeps me alive.

Every time I want to die, I remember that You love me..
And that I love You back.
So, loving You is the only thing that is left for me.. Of me..

Pure, love...
Imperfect, love...
Struggling, love...
Confused, love ...
Above all... Love!! 

I love You. I will always love You.
Because loving You is my very heartbeat..

This is Serenity!!

(Image credit: media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com)

His Words...

In His service...

Through His words...
I think a lot...
I think hard...
I try to rack my brains... To figure out this life...
"No answer!!" is always the answer..

I guess its because I tried to figure out this life using the the wrong stencil.
I tried to figure out something I could not understand.. Something I did not create. I am only a part of this world. It has its Maker. He understands it better than I do.

So I have decided to stop. I have decided to let it loose for a while.
Just let go and let the Master handle it. After all, He has the master plan. All He needs is just my obedience. 

Plus, its not a mystery because His will is spelt in His Words. Not all at once but bit by bit.

So, in His service, I will study His Word. Bit by bit until His entire will is defined for me... Which is never ending because the more I serve Him the more work He gives me... 

Which is fine because the more I serve Him the more I feel fulfilled.

So, let me look to the Word... All in His service. 

It all starts in His Word..

This is Serenity...

Love in bits and pieces....

***disclaimer: I edited the lyrics because it resonated so deeply on my life....***

And all I remember is his back...
Walking towards the airport leaving us all in his past...
I traveled 1500 miles to see him...
Begged him to want me, but he didn't want to...

But piece by piece You collected me
Up from the ground where he abandoned me..
And piece by piece you filled the holes that he burned in me for six years on...
You never walk away..
You never ask for money...
You take care of me...
You love me..
Piece by piece You restored my faith that a man can be kind and a Father could stay....

And all of his words fall flat...
I made something of myself and now he wanna come back...
But his love, it isn't free.. It has to be earned....
Back then I didn't have anything he needed so I was worthless...

But piece by piece You collected me
Up from the ground where he abandoned me..
And piece by piece you filled the holes that he burned in me for six years on...
You never walk away..
You never ask for money...
You take care of me...
Because You love me..
Piece by piece you restored my faith that a man can be kind and a Father could stay....

Piece by piece...

Well, piece by piece You fall far from the rest...
You will never leave me like he left me...
I will never have to wonder my worth because unlike him You're gonna put me first...
You'll never walk away...
You'll never break my heart...
You'll take care of things...
You'll love me...
Piece by piece You restored my faith that a man can be kind and a Father should be great...

Piece by piece...

this is Serenity!!

Freedom

Born to be free...

* Climb mountains, not for the world to see, but to see the world *

When you are free from your fears,
Free from worry,

It's like standing at the edge of a cliff, and below is a clear pool so blue and pristine.
You want to jump off the cliff into the pool and there is nothing stoping you.

You are thrilled.
You know there is nothing holding you back.
You stretch your hands outwards like an eagle spreading her wings..
And you take the leap of faith.

You know that at the bottom of the cliff is acomplishment.
You know that you will not get hurt.
You are sure that no matter what, you will get out unscathed but totally renewed..

You feel the wind, your eyes are closed..
Then you focus your sight and align your body..
And finally you pierce the water and break through beneath the surface..
The water is cool but it feels invigorating
The adrenaline powers your entire body and you swim through the water like a dolphin.

Then you rise to the surface and swim to the edge..
You look back and feel the entire experience all again.
And you smile.. You have done it and it feels good to accomplish a mission.

And now you cannot help but store that feeling deep in your soul..
Because one day you will need to remember this moment and face the challenges ahead.

As you power through life,
Adrenaline and faith propelling you..
That is when you realise that you have experienced the most elemental form of freedom.

Free from fear.
Free from guilt.
Free from negativity.
Free as God intended it to be..

This is Serenity...

More reads:
※  The aftermath...
※  Wild by Nature
※  RISING ABOVE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES...
※  Recovery of the body: Mind and Spirit
※  You are loved
※  Love and faith....

Image credit: youtube.com

Volcano: The Story of a Fire Queen

The Story of a Fire Queen

On the outside, her time seems past.
As she lies dormant only her past glory is visible,
Centuries old; yet they still reckon her deadly potential should she awake,..
Should she believe in herself and realize her potential, nothing can stop her!!
Some take advantage and dig into her ~ extracting all preciousness from her belly
"She is asleep..", they say.
They search for greener pastures as they exhaust and destroy her remaining beauty..
But the fire still burns.. The currents still move her..
Slowly she expands and flexes her muscles..
Then she gives subtle signs that are easily ignored..
Then she makes a move and signals the birds of the air, telling them to nest elsewhere...
The currents shift her.. And she dances to their tune; no warning ~ no music
Her moves shake the earth... They colour the sky...
She is awake;
New gown; new jewels
She rewrites her history
Those who thought her asleep rewrite their tragedies

Related articles:  

※  Effective force versus Brutal force
※  Rise up...
※  Marching on..
※  Memoirs of an imperfect beauty: Cuts and Blisters
※  Goals and Passions
※ When You Believe....

Image credit : succubolilith.deviantart.com

When You Believe....

When you believe...

♥♥♥It is one thing to ask in faith; and another to receive in faith...

photo credit: http://xpectamiracle.blogspot.com/2013/10/miracles-happen-when-you-believe.html

I remember the first time I was entrusted with the family car; I was beside myself in joy and excitement!! I always wanted this day to dawn!! I had gone for my driving classes, got my licence.. now I had the chance to drive the pick-up truck without a "chaperone"!! 

Problem was, I had no clue if I could survive the trip without a fender-bender!!

I had asked for the chance.. and now I had the key in my hand. The only way to know if I would survive my crazy town was to get in the car and drive to town..

※※Which brings me to my point...

I will use myself as an example (as usual!!!)

Often times, I have asked God for a couple of stuff in faith. I totally believed in the One I was confiding in, His ability to grace me but I had one problem...
I would sit and anxiously wait for my answers.. as if to see if my "request" got through. 

Right now, I wonder what it is that made me so..

※ I was not sure that I actually deserved what I asked for..
※ I undermined my own needs and so I imagined that God also saw them as petty...
※ I wasn't sure I was asking for the right thing or was I being vain...??

... I still prayed for them and surprise surprise!! My prayers were answered!!
Not once, not twice... all my prayers were answered by what I asked for or something even better!!!

**Life is a journey and in this trip, I keep on stumbling into little unseen truths about myself. **

I just realized that while I asked, I never stretched my hands to receive; as if it's a shameful thing to receive.

But then, my relationship with myself was also complicated. I was a paradox.. I believed in myself but then again, I wasn't so sure...

It wasn't until I had faith in myself that I started seeing gifts for what they were; gifts!!
Not crutches!!
Not little reminders of what I lacked; simply something extra to make life more blissful!!
I had to open up and accept what I had received of late wasn't out of pity or charity but out of love..
and then it dawned on me that I needed to apply the same with God.

I would ask for healing but feel so ashamed that I was ill in the first place...
I asked for peace but was too ashamed that I had got myself in that "predicament" that consumed my peace...
So, how could I receive when my hands were balled into fists of agony??!!

♥ I had to let the hate go.. and love myself and allow it to flow....♥

It is one thing to ask, and another to receive...

You cannot receive when your hands are full or hidden. But then, you cannot wish away the fulfilled promise in front of your eyes..

The peek-a-boo game has had to end!!
I have decided that I will not anxiously hide my face then pop in to see if I have been blessed... I had the faith to ask.. I better have the faith to receive!!!

※Faith without action is dead..※

As long as I have asked, I will make my next step in accordance with my plans, for He has gone ahead of me and straightened my path.

I have no business remaining in the same spot out of fear... I better keep my end of the deal and REMAIN faithful, and keep on moving..

God is good enough to answer our prayers.. He was good enough to sit and listen in the first place!!

♥ Courage is the fear that has said its prayers- Anon  ♥

This is Serenity!!

****

※  Of relationship articles: Sow to reap...
※  Learn to let go..
※  Goals and Passions...
※ "If Today Was Your Last Day" - Nickelback
※ The normal man...
※ Learn to love yourself well: Self promotion is not self glorification.

****

For my family and friends; From a crazy animal lover!!!

I am a crazy cat and dog owner...

yep, you heard right; I am the crazy cat-lady who is always shooing everyone around, as if a simple no cannot work.

I adore dogs; I am always talking in silly high-pitched tones and giggling to waggy-tails!!
I just love animals... people find it weird; how do you love animals? 

"They are not people; just because they are cute doesn't give them feelings!!" they say.. but I love them anyway.

I am the kind that will spare some milk for a stray stranger that is pleasant company; 

I will feel and empathise when you share a problem with me, and try to help wherever I can. Many of my species have taken advantage of this; but I can't help but reach out!! It us a losing battle to just ignore a genuine plight!!

I don't mind cleaning up after kittens, it's not like they see me as their lady-in-waiting.
It's just like changing the diaper of the toddler whose mommy is held up somewhere, and she asked me to baby-sit for just one hour. That cute look of gratitude...  and the giggles when you rub her tummy; gets me every time.

I don't mind having monologues... It's an art I have perfected.
It's like having a conversation with that naughty two-year old who is so interesting to watch, and then she babbles her entire day to you in mumbo-jumbo... you cannot understand a single word, but you fully understand her excitement and share her joy!! Lovely little beings!!

I love hugs..never mind that the furry creature is from investigating mud-life..
I will hug you and mean it, whether you are sweaty, or greasy, you got fifty layers of make-up or your hair is full of sticky gel and in fifteen temporary colours.. I will hug you and mean it.

I am very territorial, just like these adorable creatures; believe me when I take no offence when you tell me you need space!! I have no problem letting everyone enjoy their little moments of solitude and I cannot force my way in. You force your way in mine, I calmly pretend to listen and doze off... just like a cat.. or raise my hair and look at you dead in te eyes, and walk away... always works!!

I believe in law and order; no means no and yes means yes, puppy eyes or not.
I will not promise you something just to end the conversation.. 

Dogs have taught me how honest they are especially when they are disappointed. So, I will not disappoint you just because it was convenient.. you trusted me!!
Cats are worse... they make it clear you are untrustworthy and dish out silent treatments... I have learned to apologize even on the slightest mishap.. 

I am not a doormat, but I value my relationships more...

I believe in packs and prides. I believe in family and love, and respect of hierarchy; don't expect me to save you from granny when you got yourself in that naughty mess!!

Don't expect me to flirt with the rich, handsome stranger just because he offered me a ride in his juggernaut either.. pack mentality; your own first, then the rest!! 

It doesn't matter who they are: family is family; blood related or not.

I have learned how gifts can lift your spirit.. like when my cat would bring in a live lizard when am ill and in bed, hoping that the lizard will help 'heal' me just like chicken soup..
or when my dog comes silently, snuggles beside me when I over-sleep, then gently wakes me up when I sleep in too late!! 

It reminds me of the days my mother would let me sleep in, knowing too well that I am not ill; I am just tired. Or when my dad would send me airtime after 'over-hearing' me complain how broke I am..
Love comes in buckets i tell you...

The greatest lesson I have learned as a crazy fur-cuddler is the art of genuine forgiveness..
I will be harsh to that naughty dog and even pinch his ears, but when I come in from work, he is always there to jump and dance upon my arrival.. he forgot i pinched his ears earlier!!

Just like my parents; I have a list of sins that would make the devil hide in shame, but they still consider me as their own.. they get stressed when I'm ill; they get frustrated when I'm hell-bent on making bad decisions, but are always there to offer support when my bad decisions get me whooped!!
Never mind the scolding; I get scolded till heavens come, but I don't end up homeless!!!

Just like these furry little beings; they will bite me when I cooperate with the vet, but will share whatever little joys they have with me because they truly mean it!!

***

This is Serenity!!

***

※ Know your dog: German Shepherd Dog
※ Puppy health: Rabies!!
※ Know your dog: The Golden Retriever
※ Conditioning of the mind:
※ Skin health: Beeswax and your skin
※ Self appreciation; The journey towards self reconstruction

****

(Image credit: Ontario spca)

Firework (song by Katy Perry)

Fireworks by Katy Perry

※ Maybe the reason why All the doors are closed is So you could open one That leads you to the perfect road※

Do you ever feel Like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind Wanting to start again
Do you ever feel Feel so paper-thin
Like a house of cards One blow from caving in
Do you ever feel Already buried deep
Six feet under, Screams but no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's Still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta Ignite the light
And let it shine, Just own the night Like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on show them what you're worth
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave them all in awe

You don't have to feel Like a waste of space
You're original Cannot be replaced
If you only knew What the future holds
After a hurricane Comes a rainbow

Maybe the reason why All the doors are closed
So you could open one That leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt Your heart will glow

And when it's time you know

You just gotta Ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night Like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on show them what you're worth
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky
Baby, you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave them all in awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on show them what you're worth
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make them go, "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave them all in awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

This is Serenity!!

*******
++ One step at a time
++ You owe no one an explanation
++ Perfect
++ Gratitude: the ingredient in faith that moves mountains

The normal man...

Hello there!!

For a few days now i have been following the life of the Naija Husband... and my sides are still aching. The musings of this Nigerian man and his wife are out of this world... but they resonate in a way with us (Kenyan couples).
In one tweet he commented on how Kenyans be showing the post lots of love (which is true..the shares on Facebook are MANY!!) and maybe we may have the Kenyan Husband musings...and this got me reflecting...
When Naija husband talks about his life with his lovely wife, I cant help but connect with him...he is a normal man after all!!!

http://www.worldofstock.com

***Before you stone me.....
The perception  that many have of the Naija man is of a filthy rich oil drilling tycoon (thanks to Kenya Moore  and our very own Vee s baiby). Other perceptions are of the gambling, shady businessmen who bring the club down when it comes to parties. But the myth has been dispelled (thankfully).

I may not be a Kenyan husband, but i know of one Kenyan man who went through the same episodes as the Naija Husband with his beloved.

Just like Naija Wife, she was obsessed with her hair and all that had to do with hair. She loved to buy hair conditioners, never mind she had about twenty different conditioners at home, and she loved doing crazy 'treatments' to her hair. Initially he could never understand the addiction... reading hair forums, researching, the videos and tutorials downloaded in her computer with their own folder..."HAIR"!! With time, he let her be, and even suggested she invest in a hair salon since she knew so much about hair. He understood her obsession, even though he could not grasp all that hullabaloo about hair, since he always kept his at most, 3 millimeters long.

This Kenyan man knew his beloved loved to window shop, and it annoyed him to high heavens. They also loved to do their grocery shopping together on Sunday on the way back from church.  So, she came up with a rule, once in the supermarket, they would pick the essentials and then they split; he went to the hardware section and she went to the cosmetics section. She got her weekly dose of looking for the latest products with no intentions of buying, and he could satisfy the 'fixer' in him would see what may help him fix something... and he always emerged with a tool in hand. For him it was never a wasted trip. And then, they would meet at the liqueur section where he would pick his six pack of Heineken and bought her her favourite bottle of Baileys.. and laugh all the way back home.

This Kenyan man that I know would at times promise to be home early for dinner. Many times he was on time, and they would have dinner together while watching ESPN or National Geo Wild... all because they had to strike a balance between the soap operas she so loved, and wrestling which aired at the same time. They tried to split the TV into two but it never worked. So she learned of the prowess of LeBron James, and he discovered how well his beloved could commentate the entire game. There were days when he would follow the match with his eyes closed, thanks to the super commentator next to him... she never missed a single detail!!!

Of course, the Kenyan man was not perfect, since he missed curfew on some weekdays.. and always had penance in his pocket... a pack of Oreos she so loved, Dairy Milk chocolate bar which was the standard currency of forgiveness... and some days he would send funny memes through Whatsapp so that by the time he got home (late, mind you), all she could talk about was the funny troll. She would then barrage him with questions about his day, if a deal went through or if he finally discovered the cure for the Kenyan political madness. This always landed her in trouble, since he would talk on and on and on about some mathematics she could not understand...and she always ended the discussion with, 'Oh....' (blank)

The Kenyan man has his weaknesses too. One of them is that the always stored his most important documents at the highest point in the room... on the curtain box, on top of the highest cabinet, the chandelier... and he always forgot where he stored them. Thanks to this weakness, his beloved learned the art of balancing on top of stools upon stools and maneuvering her way while balanced six feet above the ground because she ALWAYS knew where he liked to store his stuff... above and beyond. 

She also developed a theory as to why spiders loved their home... her argument was that the spiders were learning from the Kenyan man on the art of "above and beyond", which came in handy since they would eat the mosquitoes that hid themselves 'above and beyond'.
She was never scared of the spiders, this Kenyan woman, but a dead earthworm would send her screaming... The Kenyan man understood this and never laughed at her because of her phobia. He would kill the worms and dispose them before his beloved saw them. She always knew she had a hero in this Kenyan man, worms or not.

Like all men, the Kenyan man had a past, and some details he was never proud of. But he never used them as an excuse for his wrongs. No one likes being judged because of their past, so they reconstruct their lives for a better future. The Kenyan man did this, he used his past mistakes to try and create a better future for himself and his beloved. Sometimes it worked, and at times failed miserably. But he had become man enough to know that no human being is ever a complete package. Even when his Kenyan woman feared for the future because of her past, he would encourage her with words and actions that helped her achieve what she may never have dreamed of achieving.

No one on earth is perfect, but everyone is special in some way. Some say all good things come to an end.. maybe that is true. But, once a person becomes special, they stay special even beyond their death.
Just like the Kenyan man. A normal man, yet special beyond measure. 

This is Serenity!!
Because Life is Beautiful...