♠A bird sitting on a branch is never afraid of the branch breaking; because her faith is not on the strength of the branch, but on her wings♠
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| http://www.liveatcampus.com/2013/05/a-lonely-affair-rahima-yasin/ |
Many days I have spent worried of my life; if my goals will materialize or my worst nightmares would come to pass...
The worst part though, was when I looked at MY capabilities and resources and found them wanting... or just sufficient enough for some distance but not the whole journey..
It was such a yo-yo lifestyle; upbeat then downtrodden in short intervals.. until I realized that I was looking for strength in all the wrong places.
For one, my perspective of success was determined by how far others had gone, and looking at my current situation, I was far from home.
I simply never defined what success meant for me.. and when I put a foot forward, I always hoped that OTHERS would recognize it as the best foot!!
I had no idea if I had done my best... talk of rock-bottom self worth (don't get me wrong - I have never entertained pity-parties; I hated it when I received sympathy..)
The past couple of months though, have been so far the toughest for me and most of my memories were filled with darkness; right now I am very glad just to bask and enjoy the sunshine!!
But I was forced to look deep into my soul and find healing; or suffer irreparable damage.. and in my search, I found a new meaning in faith in God. By trusting God, I slowly learned to trust myself!!!
Although I was tired of the pain, I was too scared of death (..not too sure where I would have ended up) and so I prayed and read the Bible religiously hoping for a miracle. Instead, ALL the Bible told me was to trust in God and WALK in faith - I had to get off my weeping bum and walk towards something.
♥Treasures in my heart....
To find that "something" to walk towards to, I found myself going through my mementos, family albums, my autograph from highschool, and my old diaries, and I discovered that I had grand goals and dreams that were gathering dust.
Funny enough, I realized that I also had adequate resources to accomplish these goals and was halfway through some of my prize projects!!!!
♥♥All that glitters...
I had abandoned these gems while picking up shiny useless stones.
Keeping up with status quo, competing with others instead of just blooming.. I laid myself to waste thinking that I was flying high.
I had passions and goals that were compatible with my personality and environment. I however unknowingly let others set the standards for me and ended up chasing the wind and end up nowhere.
I guess that is why I felt so lost in the end; the real me was buried deep beneath heaps of an ideal and unrealistic world.
♥God would not have put that dream in your heart if He had not already given you everything to fulfill it - Joel Osteen♥
We are told that in order to grow, we have to change... not trade in our lives for something else.
Years I should have spent productively changing were wasted trying to be someone totally different so as to be accepted by one, or applauded by another!!
I had not taken a single step to where I wanted to be; but I learned tonnes of lessons the hard way.
♥The greatest of them all was that there was not even one person on this earth who could complete me or make me feel whole ..
we are designed to connect with God and live with people; not the other way round.
Once connected to God, you are able to have a fulfilling life WITH other people, no matter the circumstances!!
We are never meant to lose our individuality; but to blend in with other individuals, and this will involve making compromises and knowing when enough is enough.
Like I always say to myself, life is a journey and not a destination. In this journey, we have to learn to dance in the rain, not wait for the storm to pass, otherwise we will die waiting; we live in an imperfect world!!
Storms will come, go and come again.
※I now believe that the One who made me is in control of everything and wants what is best for me; including success in my own personal pursuits and fulfilment of the passions in my heart.
※I believe that I can make plans without fear of the future. Whether I succeed or fail is not a determinant, my focus is in the perceived end result.
※ This way, I have absolutely no choice but to believe in myself, and to be wise enough to seek counsel and help without fearing what others will think of me..
I love this journey now... because I know for sure that the sky is the limit.
This is Serenity!!
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