Of relationship articles: Sow to reap...

~※ When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.※~

Be good to yourself..

So, for a while now, I have been paying attention to publications I thought were a waste of time; dating and relationship articles.
For a long while, I never gave the pages more than a look-over because I did not need to be told how to date!! How can someone I have never met know the dynamics of my love life?

A few weeks ago, I came across a cliche article: How to get and keep a man (I did say cliche...)
But i read it anyway, and it was an eye opener!! The entire article did not talk on how to manipulate someone and attract them; on the contrary, it talked about IMPROVING the relationship you have with yourself, and loving yourself more. Not once was there a mention of being a tigress...or cougar...or whatever...

With time, I realized that these relationship-fixing articles actually advice you to fix the only one thing you can; your relationship with yourself.

This brings to mind the law of harvest:

※You SOW then you REAP, not the other way round. ※

You sow love to reap love.

Over the years, we have been through enough life experiences that have hardened us, and taught us to make perimeter walls around our hearts because we have been hurt. Everyone goes through betrayal of any form; from family, to friends, spouses and even colleagues. Then we encounter strangers who should be classified as wildlife....

All this is enough to create an iron heart in anyone. The problem is that, the iron heart grows spikes so sharp, that they pierce the vessel that houses them; your spirit.

And so I start my "relationship-fixing" article..

I always say that unless you allow yourself to be strong, you cannot be strong (learn to love yourself well). Prophesy strength in your life, and you will rise.
If you don't love yourself, it is hard to find someone who truly loves you. Many people are usually surprised that they found love the moment they stopped looking for love.

As much as we are encouraged to put ourselves out there, how do we do it?
Do we do it in such a way as merchandise are displayed on a window? Or do you exist as something someone would love to have, not to afford?
I believe that we should put ourselves out there - we are not stored herbs waiting to be cooked.

I also believe that when you put yourself out there, do it like you own your life. Join clubs that make you happy. Associate with people that you find valuable, not people you hope will find some use for you (as in, when you attend a function, go there to grow, not to land a sale or contract..or whatever else..).
Put yourself first, and your spirit will radiate charm and charisma. Charisma, as I found out is not in-born or created; it is ignited. Charismatic people charm others because they fully believe in themselves, and have a way of making other people also feel capable (and I am not referring to political charisma... that is Class-A PR).

When you take charge of your happiness, you will not look for something or someone to do it. You will also not have any reason to have grudges because of our previous hurtful experiences.

Look at it this way; True- someone did hurt you; but, you also believed them and trusted them out of your own will.

- So, will you cordon off any other person that tries to come close to you?
- Or will you bear that grudge like a heavy sack of potatoes, ulcerating yourself?

Or will you look at yourself and congratulate yourself for being capable of trust, honesty and integrity even though someone else took advantage? - This is the outlook I chose.

★For one, I accepted that I was too trusting, meaning that I am trustworthy. It means that I can also trust myself to make healthy decisions, so in case something smells fishy, I can trust myself to get out of the rat-hole, without being connived to stay, or getting confused on whether its the right decision in the first place, or am I blowing things up... I will trust my foresight and insight and come to a decision that is good for my life.

★I can also trust myself not to let me down; if I encounter a challenge, chances of backing off due to fear of failure are greatly minimized; not because I cannot fail, but because I am sure that I am giving it my very best, and there will be no real loss. Either way, I took advantage of an opportunity to grow, and got something new out of it. 

- Finally, you will reap what you have sown; a relationship with yourself. You will not judge yourself too harshly when you mess up, because you knew that you did it the best way you could.

★You have no reason to be ashamed of yourself or your choices, and you will not need material things to 'upgrade' your status. You will also not be ashamed of your family, spouse, colleagues or even your background.

★And so, you will not have a reason to run the race so that you can be on someone else's level, career wise, financially or even socially.

That, I believe is true freedom.

★The freedom to meet a new person, and not have a list of things I need to hide or change before they find them out, lest I shame myself because of who I am.

★The freedom to introduce this new person to my friends and family without worrying of what they will think...

★The freedom to have a good day without having to compete whose car is fastest, or whose sound system is loudest...

★The freedom to know that even if someone else doesn't like me or what I have, that is their own problem, and that their opinion of me will not pay my bills.

★And finally, the freedom to be yourself around the people you admire, the freedom to ask them questions without being ashamed that they will know you lack, and the freedom to learn from them without feeling like an under-dog, and not waiting for the chance to beat them in their own game...

※ That is true freedom. ※

You sow love for yourself; you reap a lifetime of freedom to enjoy love...

This is Serenity!!
Because Life is Beautiful...

Related articles:
※Love and faith
※The power of purpose
※Learn to let go
※Grief - exploring, dealing and coping
※Know your dog: The Golden Retriever

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Hair loss: herbs and oils

Hair loss

As we look more into hair care, we cannot ignore the issue of hair loss.
Hair loss is caused by two major problems; breakage and shedding.

Breaking of hair is when the hair breaks due to an
imbalance of important forces within the hair strand. Broken hairs do not fall naturally from the head, but are typically a sign of mishandling or abuse.

In the stages before a hair ultimately breaks, the hair first becomes discolored and experiences cuticle loss. Eventually, the fibers begin to split and ultimately there is breakage.

Hair can be weakened and damaged by anything from rough handing and sun exposure to coloring and straightening chemicals.
Breakage is also more common with a hair's age; older hairs, usually the hairs nearest the ends, have the greatest tendency to break due to normal wear and tear. When breakage isn't a response to physical manipulation and abuse, it is most often triggered by the lack of moisture in the hair strand. Other types of breakage may be caused by the over- structuring of the hair strand with protein treatments done in excess.
(source)

Shedding is natural. Shedding occurs when the hair falls out from the root, and the shed hair will have the bulb at the end. Our scalps shed daily, but in a synchronized manner so it is not detectable. This is due to a synchronized hair growth cycle, and the shed hair is usually at the last stage of the cycle. We lose about a hundred hair daily.

In its truest sense, shed hair is hair that has reached the end of its growing cycle and naturally falls from the scalp along with its tiny, white "root" attached. This is not the actual hair root that is secured deeply within your scalp, but it is the bulb root or base of the hair strand found on the scalp-originating end. It appears white because the hair stops producing melanin (color) at the point in its growth cycle right before it gets ready to fall.

If your actual hair root came out along with the hair, you would no longer be able to produce hair from that same place on the scalp ever again!
If a hair does not possess this white root bulb, then it is not a naturally shed hair, rather, a broken one. Shed hair tends to be longer in length than broken hairs which are generally short pieces of varying lengths.
(source)

Excessive shedding is problematic. It leads to decreased hair volume and thickness. This is because the scalp loses more than the hundred normal hair strands.

Possible causes
There are a few factors that will cause excessive shedding:

*styling methods that place stress on the follicles
*birth control/menstrual cycles/menopause
*pregnancy
*heredity (runs in the family)
*crash dieting/ low protein diets, poor diet
*illnesses with high fever as a prevailing symptom
*anemia, thyroid disorders, and a host of other chronic disorders
* certain medications and major surgeries and treatments like chemotherapy
* prolonged stress and depression.
* malnutrition - where your diet is not rich in nutrients and minerals.
* scalp infection and wounds eg fungal infection,

There are many treatments for shedding hair, from shampoos to oils.

Herbs to help with shedding and hair loss

Panax Ginseng: Used in Asia for thousands of years, Ginseng’s well known benefits include promoting vascular circulation and regulating cellular metabolism. Ginseng helps to nourish and strengthen hair when used as hair tonic or even as oral supplement.

Ginkgo Biloba is a very popular herbal remedy that is thought to help with many problems, among them improving the circulation of blood to the brain and skin. The majority of herbalists who prescribe this for loss of hair do so believing that the increase of blood to the brain and skin delivers more nutrients to the hair follicles and so promotes hair re-growth.

Neem can help with hair problems like hair loss and premature graying , where loss of hair or loss of color is caused by imbalances and health issues, rather than normal aging. It is a popular and traditional remedy for skin conditions and hair loss in South Asia. It has been used therapeutically for thousands of years to treat skin conditions such as. psoriasis, eczema and ringworm and as an insect repellent. Its antimicrobial and immune-boosting properties help to treat the scalp and stimulate hair growth.

Stinging Nettle blocks the conversion of testosterone into DHT; this is the main cause of hair loss in men. It can be bought in either pill or capsule form and is said to be more effective when used in combination with saw palmetto or pygeum.

Green Tea (Camellia Sinesis) is another popular herbal remedy as it is believed that the enzyme
5-alpha-reductase is inhibited by the catechins found in the green tea. Some herbalists claim that you will reduce the risk of male pattern type baldness if you drink several cups of green tea or take it in capsule form on a daily basis.

Aloe Vera: The gel that is taken from Aloe Vera plant is known for its ability to calm irritated skin and has the properties of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant.
When massage onto the scalp, the gel restores the PH balance of the hair and seals in the moisture content of the hair, making it an excellent hair conditioner. Beside protecting the scalp and hair, Aloe Vera also stimulates hair production and is used as a remedy against Alopecia.

Oils that help with shedding and hair loss

Coconut oil:
Ever wondered why people from Kerala have such thick and healthy hair? It has a lot to do with their hair care routine that involves coconut oil.

Coconut oil penetrates well within the hair shaft
and prevents hair from losing moisture by acting as a sealant. As a result, hair is less likely to suffer damage and stays dense as well as strong.

The natural antioxidants and nutrients found in coconut oil will deliver critical resources to improve your hair's softness and luster. Coconut oil is rich in vitamin E, vitamin K and iron and effectively eliminates dandruff while boosting hair growth.

The scalp and hair are high in bacterial content. Coconut oil contains both antifungal and antibacterial properties to protect against dandruff and lice. Both of these potential problems limit hair growth. The lauric acid that coconut oil is rich in has significant action against viruses, bacteria and fungi.

Olive oil:
Prevent DTH Production. DTH is the culprit in
many cases of hair loss, as it causes the hair follicle shaft to narrow. Olive oil actually stops this from happening, which means you can hold onto your hair for longer.

Dandruff treatments – Dandruff is usually caused when the scalp becomes dry and flaky, causing those unsightly white flakes. When massaged into the scalp it will moisturize your scalp, and eliminate dandruff.
Use the treatment as often as needed until the problem fades and then just once or twice a week to keep it from reoccurring.

Olive oil also has antibacterial properties and antifungal properties that fight off common scalp and hair problems. Head lice and dandruff are two examples of conditions that can be either prevented or hampered by the application of olive oil to the scalp.

Castor oil:
Castor oil is not a miracle cure for baldness but it can be used as a treatment to stop the loss of hair, cure thinning hair and make the hair thick and luxurious once more.
Castor oil is filled with some excellent vital nutrients such as vitamin E, minerals and proteins, which are required for healthy hair. It also has antibacterial and antifungal properties.

Scalp infection can cause major hair problems like bald patches, itchy scalp, etc. This can also stop hair growth. Castor oil’s anti-fungal, antibacterial and antiviral properties, you can fight pathogens and micro-organism causing these problems. Apply it on regular basis to make your scalp infection-free.

Just take some castor oil, and massage it to your scalp and roots. Wash it off, after leaving it for an hour or two.
Ricinoleic acid that is present in castor oil helps to protect your hair and stimulates circulation of nutrient rich blood to your scalp

Almond Oil
When it comes to hair care, sweet almond oil is highly effective because of its emollient or softening action. Rich in vitamins D and E and minerals such as calcium and magnesium, almond oil acts as a natural moisturizer for your hair, preventing it from turning dry and brittle. As a result, there is lesser hair loss.

And the nutrition your hair receives ensures it stays healthy, thick and strong, and also grows faster. However, if you have an allergy to nuts, it is best to avoid almond oil.

You can mix these oils if you want to. Castor oil is very thick and so you can mix with olive or coconut oil to make it lighter.

To get benefits from both the herbs and oils, you can use oil infusions or add the herb essential oils to a carrier oil.

You can easily get the oils, tinctures and dried herbs from a health store or pharmacy near you.

Stay beautiful,

This is Serenity!!

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* Anabolic, catabolic states and your weight
* Herbal oil infusions: carrier oils
* Supplements: how they work
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Healthy hair and scalp: Herbal tea rinses

Hi again,
Very often we have to deal with dull hair or dry and flaky scalp that seems to reuse to improve no matter what you use. This issues are caused by a couple of issues we encounter in our daily activities. Your scalp could be acting up due to build-up from dust and sediments (smoke, fumes etc) that are in the polluted city airs we survive by, or you may be having an allergic reaction due to medication or even hair products and styling gels. The same happens to your hair, topped up with build-up of dirt and styling products and salts from our sweats.
One remedy many people adopt is the herbal tea rinse. Simply put, you prepare herbal tea (without the sweeteners or honey), cool the tea and use it as a final rinse after shampoo or deep conditioning/treatments.
There are many herbs that are used, and each of them will have very positive impact on your scalp, and hence your hair.

• Black Tea Rinse: Yep, strong tea (or turungi ...). Tea is known to have very powerful phyto-nutrients which help in strengthening the follicles and stop shedding. Tea is also mildly acidic and so it will give your hair a glossy finish and leave the strands stronger. Since black tea has a 'drying' effect like henna, it is best used as the rinse just before applying conditioner (treatment) and letting it sit in your hair for 15 to 20 minutes under a dryer (optional). Doing this with your routine conditioning (treatment) is bound to reduce the amount of hair you shed, and leave your hair glossier and much much stronger. A cup (or half ) will do.
• 
  
• Black coffee rinse: Regular espresso, gourmet or just plain old coffee no matter the name. The regular caffeine coffee should do the trick. Just like black tea, it leaves your hair stronger, glossier and will cut down your shedding drastically. You should use it with your conditioning treatment, especially a moisturizing conditioner. A cup (or half ) will do.

• Apple cider vinegar: ACV rinse is usually done after rinsing off the conditioning treatment or hot-oil treatment. 
• Besides sealing the cuticles, it also cleanses and clarifies, effectively helping removing residue that leads to dry and breaking hair. It also helps clarify the scalp, reducing product-related itching and flaking. It also helps in combating dandruff.. 
• It is very popular and helpful with people who use hard tap water to wash their hair. Integrating this rinse weekly leads to soft, glossy hair that stays moisturized. You will mix only a table spoon of ACV with a cup of cold water. Be careful not to add too much as it can irritate your hair and scalp when too concentrated.

• Flat beer rinse: Yes, the brown frothy waters do hold a punch of their own. Rinsing your hair once a month with flat beer (you can use fresh beer if you don't mind the foam) gives you strong, bodacious, resilient and glossy hair. It also acts as a wonderful setting lotion before blow-drying, and reduces the limp appearance after styling. Just use a cup to rinse after conditioning. Don't worry about the smell, it will go away after a few minutes.

• Green tea rinse: Green tea is very useful in controlling hair loss or shedding. You simply make the tea by brewing some green tea bags in hot water and then, let it cool. You simply pour the tea on your hair and scalp. You can use a small basin to collect the run-off tea, then rinse your hair again as you massage your scalp (if you are enjoying the massage). The tea contains compounds that will help manage hair loss, as well as shedding. As always, drinking your green tea will also give you many anti-oxidant goodies that will help in keeping you healthy.

• Chamomile tea: Chamomile tea is soothing to the scalp and gives your hair a brilliant sheen. Chamomile tea also lightens the hair a bit.

• Lemon: Lemon juice (or tea if you choose to brew ... your call!!) is also very soothing for the scalp, and it also helps in controlling dandruff and oily scalp. Too much lemon will dry out your hair, and cause lightening, especially if the hair is exposed to sunlight a lot. One lemon should be enough for a cop of water or even mixed with chamomile tea.

So, here is the 'small' list on how you can benefit from different herbal rinses. You can tweak it depending on availability or time, or how you decide to condition or treat your hair and scalp. Feel free to get Herbal!!

This is Serenity!!

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* Rosemary skin benefits 
* Hair loss: herbs and oils
*Vitamin E and hair growth
* Carrier oils and their benefits
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