"...our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves,'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' " - Marianne Wilson
As I grew older, I realized that if there was anything about myself that I often overlooked, it was my endless list of personal strengths. Sadly, I sail in that boat with many others whom I exist with; I know this because overlooking one's own strength seemed normal, if not admirable!!
It was not until I came across a writer who talked of self promotion (my first thought was ...blasphemy of the soul!!!)
But, self promotion is very different from the very entity we all vilify; self glorification!!
Self glorification occurs by describing or representing as admirable, especially unjustifiably or undeservedly. Self glorification will ALWAYS involve a third party; the person you are bragging to.
No one likes being around people fond of self glorification because they will DRAIN the positive energy from you!! A moment with them and you will start questioning your efforts, input or even worth...
Self promotion is different. One definition of 'To promote' is to change the rank or position of (someone) to a higher or more important one. So, when you promote yourself, you are actually working to to help or encourage something positive to exist or flourish; further its lifespan.
Self promotion is a more reflective thing, and more often than not, you are your own audience.
Self promotion, if employed well, is very capable of helping an individual achieve greater heights in different aspects of their lives. This is because, you are forced to look within the depths of your soul and recognize what it is that flourishes and nurtures your drive; ie, you will look inside and identify your strengths.
There are three entities you can never lie to even if you wanted to: God, the devil and YOURSELF. You therefore will need extreme guts to deceive yourself and adopt self glorification; but it is effortless to lie to other people and look super. We have all lied at some point to save face; it often comes as a means of self preservation. With time, it becomes routine when a status has to be maintained, and inadequacies have to be masked. That is why you can never lie to yourself; this is because you already know these inadequacies!!
Self promotion is totally opposite; you see your strengths as they are. They are not vain. Very often, self promotion springs up during times of great trials. This is usually the beginning of the journey towards self confidence for those who may have lost it. Everyone is born confident. Our experiences in life are the ones that erode it slowly by slowly.
I will use myself as an example: for a long time I believed that self-demotion was the same as modesty. This belief system, because of daily practice, led to a distorted parallel view to the extent that I no longer acknowledged my strengths anymore.
I literally crushed my inner strengths in the effort of maintaining a modest and humble image. This led to a bigger problem: I became excessively defensive. I had no pillar to support myself, and I either fell for everything or fought off everything that disturbed my comfort zone. Since life is dynamic, the fighting occurred daily, because change occurs daily. Whatever I could not fight, I resigned to.
This cycle is vicious, and can last entirely. It is vicious because I ended up making decisions that I resigned to, or really fought to uphold what I believed in, even when no one objected!! I was literally an action figure. On a good day I packed enough aggression to fight off Arnold Schwartzneger, Johnny Trejo and Sylverster Stallone all combined. The other time, I was the polar opposite: beyond timid that a kitten would be ashamed!!
It took literal loss and death for me to reach in and grasp at what was left; strength. As Bob Marley said, " You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option!" I either had to be strong or simply die. Since you cannot just wish death as you can sleep, I had days of literal agony that my entire digestive system gave in. I could not eat solid food for a week. In the meantime, life continued. My cargo was not shipped into the country as I expected, my liquid finances were spent in an emergency surgery.. I had debts to pay by the end of the week.. I discovered a shocking secret that left me feeling betrayed... all in one week. Something had to give in... and it did. I did not die, so I decided to live.
Amid hidden tears and emotional anguish, I strove to find a solution for what I could.. and that meant thinking about what I could accomplish and how to do it. I had to find the investor in me to find a source of cash to pay the debts. I did, eventually.
While I would have given up on my shipment, I found the manager in me to follow up on the matter. Even though I knew I may have lost everything, I realized that the supplier was flexible enough to allow me to return most of my items for a refund, and if I could, I may find a buyer from New York to purchase what could not be refunded. This way, I was able to salvage most of the finances I had tied up to that stock.
That was the time the truth about my personal relationship with people was revealed. I discovered the friends I never knew, and lost many I thought I had. This can really destabilize a person because when you lose friends, you will question the most intricate parts of your life, and the hardest part is learning to trust again. You will question everyone who associates with you and try to discover their "hidden agendas".... crazy, but true. (I have left more of the issues out.. these were just the ones I considered least troubling..)
To say that I was strong enough to weather the storm would be total self glorification. I was not strong, I was knocked flat out. The turning point occurred when I literally started questioning God; then it occurred to me that I was alive for a reason.
What reason? What is it that God preserved me for? That was going to be my new worry.
As I sorted these little messes, I delved deeper in my soul to find out what it was that God saw. Then, my true friends started springing up. Someone would literally barge me to do something solely because she knew I would do it to perfection. A colleague offered to mentor me in a totally new skill in the pharmaceutical field because he was dead sure I had what it takes to do it (I am primarily an IT nerd). All these they saw, yet I did not see. As I embraced these two, I got more confident to embrace more.. and do more, thus my journey towards self promotion.
We all go through such cycles in order to grow. But you can never grow if you are weak and empty in the inside. You can never truly achieve. Sometimes, I think this is why some people act like their sole mission in life is to piss people off.
Anyone who causes another to suffer without being provoked is said to be suffering intensely.
When you allow your spirit to be promoted, you will feel lifted and you will soar. God does not intend for us to suffer spiritually, that is why that reserve of strength will exist even in the most darkest hours of your life. From there, you will rise again. As your spirit is promoted, so is your life. That is the beauty of faith in God, it is never over if you are not yet dead.
God has preserved you for a glory beyond measure, but you will need to prophesy strength into your life first.
This is Serenity!!
Because Life is Beautiful!!!
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On the outside, her time seems past.
